Tuesday, March 6, 2012

Building Up--Not Tearing Down

Today I saw my first (and I'm sure it will not be my last) negative comment on the internet. Someone had pinned a photo of me to pinterest  (in a very sweet way) and someone posted a comment saying that my outfit made me look short and pudgy and was not flattering at all. It happened to be the outfit I had just done with my trousers.

I have news for that person...I am short. I don't believe I'm pudgy, but I do believe I get to wear what I want because I like it. I know all of us girls are probably guilty of (at one time in our lives perhaps) saying Ohh, that girl should not wear that, she looks horrid, etc. But I'm super tired of women hating on women. I'm tired of people judging someone based on what they are wearing and saying they should have worn this or that to look better. I will always be short, and I don't have a huge passion for wearing super tall heels all of the time, that is my choice. If I like an outfit, I'm allowed to wear it, whether someone out there thinks its flattering or not.

Instead of tearing each other down, I wish we ladies would build each other up and encourage each other to follow our interests and be ourselves. If anything this small comment reminded me that I too need to help build my fellow woman up. To encourage my lovely friends and ladies out their in the blogosphere to keep working their style.

Just remember don't let negative comments tear you down ladies. Keep doing what you like and ignore the people who just want to tear you down.

xo,
 Em

42 comments:

  1. RUDE! I don't think there is anything wrong with thinking that someone is wearing something unflattering, but there are better ways to word your thoughts... or better yet - keep it to yourself if it's not constructive, you know?

    I think you & all your outfits - including the trouser look - are adorable. I'm glad you have a good attitude about this - negative comments like this pretty much ruin the rest of my day, sadly.

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  2. Well, I think you look gorgeous in everything, so just don't bother! People tell my I look old sometimes, but I know that I'm only 18 years old, so I don't care. If people laugh at us, they are the joke!

    Have a nice evening :) Hugs

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  3. Nice post! If it helps any, I saw that pin including that comment and I still came to your blog and became a follower. =] I think you look lovely and I don't know why women feel the need to make such comments about other women. Do people really have nothing better to do with their time than make rude comments?

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    1. I realize it might have sounded weird to say "nice post"--I meant nice point about the tearing down/building up thing!

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  4. To put it in perspective for me, you have loads of followers who look daily to see what you are wearing for inspiration and because your beautiful photos makes them happy. One comment from a rude, ignorant, sad, negative person cannot overshadow the good.

    I think you have one of the tiniest waists I have ever seen, and you are spectacularly beautiful with a fantastic sense of style.

    You parents have done a wonderful job to have you grow up and be so resilient to such stupidity and to be so proud and sure of yourself.

    Why do we have to dress to appear our very thinnest anyway? Whoever decided this, doesn't get to decide for me and shouldn't get to decide for any woman. Bah to the fools who try to put us down and make us feel bad about oursleves.

    x

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  5. I agree it's horrible to see other people being malicious (whether that's the intent or not) to someone in public, expecially when it's women commenting on other women. We can all, as you say, be a bit 'bitchy' from time to time but in my experience people that comment or look at you in a negative way are usually doing it because they're insecure about themselves. You have a better attitude about it than I would! :)

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  6. Awww, I can't believe someone said that :O( It really is horrible how girls can be. I was just thinking that yesterday.
    You're BEAUTIFUL and super tiny, not AT ALL pudgy!

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  7. I hate that! If people have nothng nice to say, don't say ANYTHING at all...come on internet users...you get taught this in playgroup/kindergarten!
    Well done Em on being so strong and bloomin marvellous!

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  8. You have already risen above this, that takes strength. I agree that anyone can wear wear what they like, and that strength shows through.
    :)

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  9. so sorry sweetie, that is never fun to have some hate on you. i never understand why people tear each other done, for the only purpose of making themselves feel better at someone else's expensive, that is not a win win situation. i always believe if you don't have something nice to say, say nothing at all.
    xo,
    cb

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  10. Amen, sister! I think you work your height very well, actually. I sometimes have thoughts like "hmm, that's not so flattering on him/her," but I never voice it...and it doesn't really matter what I think anyway :) People should wear whatever makes them feel like themselves! (pronoun nightmare up in this comment...sorry about that)

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  11. What a nasty person, I'm sure they were just seeking to feel better about them self by trying to get you down, shame on them! Having a blog can be so nerve wrecking because you're putting yourself out there for the world to see, and if you're not some person that wears generic clothing it can be even more trivial. Whoever made the comment was probably not used to seeing a photo of a woman who didn't have all of her body parts on show and wasn't emaciated. The poor thing is probably very confused that you can still be beautiful and modest!

    On a totally different note, you probably get this A LOT but gosh you remind me SO much of Allie from The Notebook!

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  12. I just wanted to comment on your new header and overall blog appearance. I love it! Very classy and appealing indeed.

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  13. Women sometimes too cruel to other women. I tried to find the answer why but never found it. I always had low self confidence and I really admire those ones who is self confidence or just not showing that they're not. That person is really nasty and I'm really happy that you took it the way you did. I had a person on my blog who tried to get me down time after time. He was writing every few weeks how fat I'm and that I can't where this or that. It was quite hurting for the first times then I realised that someone just have too many complexes. You look beautiful in all your outfits and don't let anyone to hurt you x

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  14. :( let your haters be your motivators lol

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  15. by the way, love your new logo! it would make an awesome t-shirt!

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  16. I 100% agree! I am sorry that you had to see that, you seem to be doing a great job of rising above it though! I have a vintage shop on etsy and I am always worried I may find myself on the REGRETSY site in one of my dresses :/

    I think that you are seriously fabulous, stylish, and all-around lovely!

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  17. Amazing response and attitude, Emma! You are such an impressive lady.

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  18. Well, I for one (and according to the comments, there are quite a few people who feel the same) LOVE your look and style. Hopefully the good thoughts and positive words will drown out any negativity.

    And by the way, "pudgy" you are not - I think that person needs to have their eyes checked (they are probably jealous of your teeny tiny waist).

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  19. First off, that person is crazy and should have their internet privileges taken away.

    I think you handled the negativity very well and in a classy and elegant way. This person is completely stupid. You're a gorgeous girl who is going to be a teacher and you're cool with awesome (pudge free) style! You just got married and you have a great life. If it's any consolation, I can tell that you're an amazing person without even knowing you in real life and I agree that women should stop tearing each other down!!!

    Mabel
    Mabel Time

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  20. This makes me sad, mainly for all the reasons you said, women should be supporting one another not tearing each other down! I love your style and blog are fabulous! Also, you are in NO way 'pudgy' and being short is awesome :) Keep being you and don't apologize for it!

    xx
    Kat

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  21. Well said!! How sad that someone felt the need to voice such a rude opinion, but good for you for turning their negativity into this wonderfully positive post.

    And besides, although you are truly tiny, who cares if someone's outfit makes them look "short and pudgy" anyway? I'm always so happy to see people who look like they're having fun with their clothes... whether it's [objectively] flattering or not is besides the point. Live and let live!

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  22. I cannot BELIEVE that someone would be so rude as to say something like that. You do NOT look anything like they said. In fact, when I was browsing my reader yesterday I was really, really taken with your lovely photos and the perfection of your look!
    I'm so sorry that happened to you! I think you look perfect! :)
    xo

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  23. I am so, so sorry that you got such a rude, thoughtless comment like that! :/ I absolutely adored the outfit you were sporting in the photo she was referring to (yes, I went and found in on Pinterest...) and don't think it makes you look "bad" in the slightest! In fact, after seeing that outfit, I thought "I need to dig out my 40s style jeans and wear those soon!" because I liked it so much. :) Keep wearing what you love! I've gotten some very negative comments in the past as well on outfit posts about my physical looks, and it can be discouraging to say the least. :/ My rule of thumb, and I wish others would follow this too, is that if someone doesn't ask for an opinion on how something looks/flatters, don't volunteer it! :) Because I think many fashiony bloggers dress based on how something makes them feel, not on what everyone else thinks (thank goodness!). Tearing down does nothing for anyone... :/

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  24. Oh dear - such silliness - hope it is a one-off! Particularly as when I saw your last post I thought you were looking rather lovely! I was wondering whether I might be able to pull of those trousers as well as you!!

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  25. Well said.

    I often find myself wondering what happened to that old adage, "if you can't say something nice, don't say anything at all"- apparently that, as well as manners and tact, have been abandoned in favor of crude and catty behavior.

    And, in case the dozens of posts above haven't convinced you of it, you are such an inspiration; truly the fiercest (and best dressed) lilliputian.

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  26. Well that chic is brutal, if you don't have anything nice say don't say it at all people! Don't worry about her, it's called Karma and it always comes back....

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  27. Love your style, you always look beautiful. I sadly think that the internet has a lot to answer for with encouraging peoples complete inability to keep their rudenes to themselves. As one of the other lovely ladies mentioned in her above comments "if you can't say anything nice, don't say anything at all". Keep looking stylish xx

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  28. If you appear on a blog, you are exposed to positive and negative comments. We have freedom of opinion on a public image, like it or not.
    You can not show you in a blog and expect only positive reinforcement around the world.

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  29. For what it's worth, I think you're stunning. And I am a curvy girl who likes to wear short-ish dresses all the time because I love them and because I think I rock them. Who cares what negative people think? Keep up the glorious outfit posts. Lots of love from England! xx

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  30. Great post! It's a shame people can be so rude and negative. I mean we all have it in us to an extent I think, but it's such a waste of energy to focus on :( !

    xo
    http://kittysnooks.blogspot.com/

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  31. You're so awesome!! C: I agree with every single sentiment. Also, they were straight up wrong. You never dress less than impeccably, i'm always in a green-eyed awe at how well you dress yourself.

    It sucks that negativity is part of the internet but WHAT EVER. it's all people who don't have the cojones to be negative to people's faces in real life, anyway.

    also I just noticed your new header, anddddd I love it! :D

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  32. Your attitude is fantastic. Blogging makes one vulnerable, and I think it takes bravery to post head-to-toe pictures of yourself. That's why I could never be a fashion blogger! Sure, everyone has the right to their own opinion, but that doesn't mean we need to run our mouths and SAY everything we think. There's a huge difference between freedom of speech and cattiness.

    I've seen plenty of fashion bloggers wear things that look a little off, in my opinion. I refrain from commenting on those posts, because it's the kind and classy thing to do. Above all, women shouldn't reinforce the idea that all women should look tall and thin, like a Barbie doll. How boring would it be if we all looked the same?!

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  33. Goodness me...if your big then I'd hate to think what that person thinks of me...I'm like twice your size, and think I'm lovely! Ha ha! I think you have the worlds tiniest waist...and your very beautiful...no idea why someone would want to poo on you that way. I remember when I was put on a french blog titled worst fashion disasters of 2010. I think its when I had blue dreads that truly landed me on the website but I just kindly thanked them for the extra blog traffic and free advertising and kept on being me...wacky style choices and all. I think its nice of you to point out to others that we should be building each other up while still letting rude people know that your not bothered by their worthless opinions! Hearts, Janna Lynn

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  34. I've just come across your blog (one could get easily lost in a constant circle of blog links!) and found myself nodding to your words in this post. I've yet to read on to see what obviously so offended the sensibilities of the complaining person - but I highly doubt it will be justified. I love that you're using it to tell everyone else to keep their chin up. You have my respect and admiration :)

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  35. I got a really weird negative comment on my blog once (thankfully only once so far!) - a really passive-aggressive snarky comment. I hit "reply" and was trying to compose my thoughts into a dignified response...and then I thought "wait a minute, do I actally care what this anonymous mean person thinks?" Answer was, "no," so I deleted the comment and never looked back! And now I can't remember who it was, what they said, or even which of my blog posts it was about, so f*ck her and all who sail in her.

    I'm sorry the comment about you is on somebody else's site, so you can't delete it and deny her the attention, but you are absolutely right. You can't please everybody, and you shouldn't try to.

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  36. Emma, my mother always told me... whenever I would come home from school and let her know that one of the girls in my class made fun of me....she would say "Don't worry and put much thought in people who like to pick or make fun. They only do it because they are jealous of you."

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  37. I think the bottom line there is that people actually have very strong opinions on fashion. i don't think such comments are necessarily to tear you down, but to express that what you wear doesn't fit their fashion philosophy in some way. i particularly notice that high rise jeans get silly comments like that. They are actually very flattering on you. Don't pay much attention.

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I love hearing from all of you! Please remember any ideas on my blog are my own opinion and if you don't agree or have something you want to critique, please be polite.